“Gordon Ramsay” on Jamie Oliver

Brits are so weird.

That Looks Nothing Like the Picture!

Obviously, the best cookbooks are ones with lots of great pictures. I’ll pretty much only make a recipe if I can see what it looks like as a final product. My reason is that I’m inexperienced, so I like the added confidence that I really can make the dish if it just ends up looking like that. Easy peasy.

But what I can never quite get a handle on is that MY final product never looks like the picture. Maybe it’s my greenness, or maybe it’s false advertising.

Exhibit A: Pad Thai from Cookinglight Magazine

Tofu Pad Thai

Now, this looks easy enough. Just a conglomerate of veggies and tofu –for which I fully-planned on substituting chicken. No prob.

Original Recipe:

4 oz uncooked wide rice sticks (rice-flour noodles)
1/4 cup cider vinegar
1/4 cup low-sodium soy sauce
3 tablespoons brown sugar
2 tablespoons water
1 teaspoon red curry paste
3 garlic cloves, minced
1.5 cups chopped reduced-fat firm tofu (about 8 oz.)
1/8 teaspoon salt
1/8 teaspoon ground red pepper
1/8 teaspoon black pepper
Cooking spray
1 cup chopped onion
3/4 cup chopped broccoli
1/2 cup chopped carrot
1 large egg, lightly beaten
1 tablespoon fresh lime juice
1/4 cup chopped dry-roasted peanuts

Place noodles in a large bowl. Add boiling water to cover; let stand 10 minutes or until tender. Drain.

Combine vinegar and next 5 ingredients (vinegar through garlic) in a small bowl, stirring with a whisk.

Heat a large nonstick skillet coated with cooking spray over medium-high heat. Sprinkle tofu with salt, red pepper, and black pepper. Add tofu to pan; saute 8 minutes or until lightly browned. Remove from pan. Add onion, broccoli, and carrot to pan; saute 4 minutes or until tender. Remove from pan. Add egg to pan; stir-fry 20 seconds or until soft-scrambled, stirring constantly.

Return tofu and onion mixture to pan. Stir in noodles and vinegar mixture; cook 1 minute or until thoroughly heated, stirring constantly. Remove from heat. Stir in juice, sprinkle with peanuts.

But then, I discovered I didn’t have rice noodles at home. Just whole wheat angel hair or spaghetti. Angel hair’s smaller, more like rice noodles, so in the pot they went.

I didn’t have cider vinegar to make the sauce, so I used rice vinegar instead.

I neither had tofu nor chicken. Vegetarian night it is!

I didn’t have broccoli or carrots, so I used the leftover veggies from a frozen bag medley of peas, lima beans, carrot squares, and broccoli. I also added a stalk or two of leftover bok choy, ‘cuz if I could put bok choy in everything, I would.

I had an egg, but since we’re going veggie, might as well be entirely healthy. I used a serving of egg beaters that equated 2 large eggs.

I neither used lime juice or peanuts; the first because I forgot, the latter because I don’t have any.

Instead of regular brown sugar, I used Splenda brown sugar because I have a bunch leftover from when I was on the South Beach Diet. You’re supposed to use less of the Splenda per tablespoon of brown sugar, but I used the full amount — because it worked really well in some brownies I’d once made, so why the hell not?

So, in the end, this is what MY version of the recipe looked like:

My Recipe:

4 oz. whole wheat angel hair pasta
1/4 cup rice vinegar
1/4 cup low-sodium soy sauce
3 tablespoons Splenda brown sugar
2 tablespoons water
1 teaspoon red curry paste
3 garlic cloves, minced
Cooking spray
1 cup chopped onion
1 cup frozen veggie medley
1 cup bok choy
4 oz. egg beaters

Place noodles in a large pot of water. Bring to a boil until tender.

Combine vinegar and next 5 ingredients (vinegar through garlic) in a small bowl, stirring with a whisk, or in my case, a chopstick. [Use 2 tablespoons of Splenda brown sugar here, instead of the 3 mentioned above. Otherwise, it's too sweet. My bad.]

Heat a large nonstick skillet coated with cooking spray over medium-high heat. Add onions, veggie medley, and bok choy to the pan. Saute 4 minutes or until tender. Make a hole in the center of the veggies, and pour in the egg beaters. Let sit until it stiffens slightly, then scramble with the stir-fry.

Stir in noodles and vinegar mixture. Cook 1 minute or until thoroughly heated, stirring constantly. Remove from heat and serve.

My version turned out two sweet, and a little watery. This could be because I used frozen veggies, but it was probably also due to the fact that whole wheat pasta does not soak up sauce as well as rice noodles. But it still tasted pretty darn good, and much better than the recipes I’ve tried before.

So the moral of the story?

I always improvise, so I should stop whining that my meals never look as pretty as the picture. On the other hand, improvising is the only way I learn things in the kitchen, and for that reason I’ll probably never get a picture-perfect meal at home.

Crepes

One of my favorite memories from college is going to Rockridge and hanging out with Gourmandette T at a place called the Crepevine. There, they served some of the best salads I’ve ever eaten and a orange concoction made from a blend of carrot, orange, and other juices. They didn’t skimp on portions either- salads could easily feed two, or just one of me. The crepes weren’t bad either. This is my tribute to fun times at the Crepevine. I love Nutella on crepes and sometimes I spread Nutella and raspberry preserves all over them. It becomes more like a dessert with the Nutella and preserves, but sometimes I need some motivation to get me out of bed in the mornings and a sweet breakfast perks me right up. That and some coffee. This recipe comes from the Food Network’s Alton Brown. Sometimes I halve the recipe, but you can also layer prepared crepes between pieces of wax paper and store them in the freezer.

Ingredients:

2 large eggs

1 c. all-purpose flour

3 T. melted butter, cooled

3/4 c. milk

1/2 c. water (or you could use all milk)

Possible additions: 2-1/2 T. sugar (definitely do this if you want sweet crepes), 1 tsp. vanilla, 2 T. liquer to the batter (or to taste)

Directions:

Combine all ingredients in a blender, pulse 10 seconds (or whisk everything in a bowl). Refrigerate for 1 hour.

Heat a small non-stick pan on medium heat. Add butter to coat. Pour half of a 1/4 c. measuring cup with the batter in the pan, swirl. Cook about 30 seconds and flip. Cook another 10 seconds, remove from pan. Continue with rest. Enjoy!

Red Lobster Biscuits

The thing I remember most about going to Red Lobster is not the seafood, oddly enough, but the biscuits that the waitress put on the table as soon as we sat down. Normally, I would inhale two of them minimum before my meal arrived. Even though I don’t eat there anymore, I enjoy this biscuits. If this isn’t the same recipe that the restaurant uses, it’s pretty darn close. They come out nice and flaky and buttery.

Ingredients:

2-1/2 c. Bisquick baking mix

4 T. (1/2 stick) cold unsalted butter

1 heaping c. grated cheddar cheese

3/4 c. cold whole milk

1/4 tsp. garlic powder

Topping for biscuits:

2 T. butter, melted

1/2 tsp. garlic powder

1/4 tsp. dried parsley flakes (optional)

pinch of salt

Directions:

Preheat oven to 400 degrees.

Combine Bisquick with cold butter in a medium bowl using a pastry cutter or a large fork. You don’t want to mix too thoroughly. There should be small chunks of butter in there that are about the size of peas. Add cheddar cheese, milk and 1/4 tsp. garlic powder. Mix by hand until combined, but don’t over mix.

Drop approximately 1/4 c. portions of the dough onto an ungreased cookie sheet using an ice cream scoop or measuring cup. Bake 15 to 17 minutes, or until the tops of the biscuits begin to turn light brown.

When you take the biscuits out of the oven, melt the 2 T. of butter (for topping) in a small bowl in the microwave. Stir in 1/2 tsp. garlic powder and the dried parsley flakes. Use a brush to spread garlic butter over the tops of all the biscuits.

Tomato Corn Salsa

This recipe comes from Sara Moulton’s cookbook Sara Moulton Cooks at Home.  It’s actually the topping for a turkey burger recipes, but I loved the salsa so much on it’s own that I usually just make the salsa.  Serve with chips.  You don’t have to strain the cherry tomatoes- my mom doesn’t and objects when I do whenever I make it for her.

Ingredients:

12 cherry tomatoes, finely chopped

1/2 tsp. kosher salt

1/2 c. corn kernels (cooked fresh, thawed frozen, or, my preference, raw kernels)

1 T. lime juice

1 garlic clove, minced

1 T. chopped fresh cilantro (still good if you don’t have any)

2 tsp. olive oil

Additional salt and pepper to taste.

Directions:

Toss tomatoes with salt and drain in a colander for 15 minutes.

Combine tomatoes, corn, lime juice, garlic, cilantro, and olive oil in a large bowl. Season with salt and pepper. Toss well and enjoy!

Sort-of-Thai Noodles

This recipe came from Ruth Reichl’s book Garlic and Sapphires: The Secret Life of a Critic in Disguise.  It’s a good read with moments of sadness and humor.  If I don’t have shrimp, I still make it and really like it.  When you pour the fish sauce mixture in the pan, it looks like a lot of liquid, but the noodles quickly absorb it.

Ingredients:

1/2 lb. very thin rice noodles (but I usually use thicker ones because that’s what I like for some reason)

1/4 c. sugar

1/4 c. fish sauce

1/4 c. white vinegar or unseasoned rice vinegar

2 T. peanut oil (I use canola if I don’t have peanut, which can be expensive)

1/2 lb. medium shrimp, shelled (optional)

2 cloves of garlic, minced or pressed

1/2 lb. ground pork

4 scallions, sliced into 1/2-inch lengths

2 eggs

1 tsp. dried, crushed red pepper flakes

1/4 c. lime juice (about two limes)

1/2 c. peanuts, chopped finely or ground

Sriracha chili sauce and lime slices for serving

Directions:

Soak noodles in hot water to cover for 20 minutes, until soft; then drain and set aside.

Mix the sugar, fish sauce, and vinegar together; set aside.

Heat oil in a wok or skillet until very hot, and saute shrimp until they change color, about 1 minute. Remove and set aside.

Add garlic to wok, and as soon as it starts to color and get fragrant, add pork and half of scallions. Saute until the pork just loses its redness; then add noodles and mix quickly. Add the fish sauce mixture, reduce heat to medium, and cook until noodles have absorbed all the liquid, about 5 to 8 minutes.

Move noodles to one side of the pan and break 1 egg into wok, breaking the yolk. Tilt wok so you get the thinnest sheet of egg possible, and scramble until just set. Mix into noodles. Repeat process with second egg. Add the shrimp, remaining scallions, and the red pepper flakes, and mix to combine. Add the lime juice and cook about 1 minute.

Pour into dish, sprinkle with peanuts, and add chili sauce to taste. Serve with lime wedges for drizzling.

Mango and Blackbeen Salad

I got this recipe out of Cooking Light Magazine.  I think it makes a really good side to grilled chicken, but it would probably go well with tacos or burritos (what I’m going to try next).  While the rice is cooking, you can prep the rest of the ingredients and cook the rest of the meal.

Ingredients:

1-1/2 c. chopped, peeled mango

1 c. thinly sliced green onions

1/2 c. cooked wild or brown rice (or more)

3 T. finely chopped cilantro

2 T. salsa (fresh, regular, or roasted tomatillo)

2 T. lime juice

2 T. extra-virgin olive oil

3/4 tsp. salt (or less)

1/4 tsp. pepper

1 – 15 oz. can black beans, rinsed and drained

Directions:

Combine all ingredients in a large bowl and toss. Enjoy!